Chapter 99 : on the nose

I looked over at Dr Jordan with my tear streaked face and silently begged him not to carry on, I couldn’t take no more breaking and I knew whatever his plan was it would most definitely hurt somewhere deep inside of me, however he obviously couldn’t of seen this or just didn’t care as his voice broke out clear and loud again. Esmee held on to my arms a little tighter, she obviously knew what was coming and knew I wasn’t going to like it. She probably feared that if left un-held they might have found their way into a wall.

 “We have decided to insert you with a NG feeding tube for the time being Mia,” Doctor Jordan said quickly like he was trying to break the news fast so it wouldn’t hurt as much, like the plaster Theory. Rip them off quickly and it wouldn’t hurt. The trouble was the theory didn’t work well for plasters and here it was just useless.  My body crumpled and folded into its self as Dr Jordan continued to explain what he was going to, but his voice was an empty mumbling of nothing. Was this what I had feared? No not really, I never thought they would do it. Not when I was still that fat. What where they going to do with me? What had become of me? How could they do this? Was there no one on my side anymore? Not even Esmee’s full embracing hug around my tiny curled up body could get rid of the empty dreading, the angry void, now twice as big and twice as sore as ever before.