Chapter 69 : Cuddles sedative and someone else’s tears.

“This is Mia Dorado, age 15. She has severe lacerations to both right and left lower legs. Her blood pressure is in her boots and is currently on high flow oxygen to maintain her levels. At the moment is very upset and anxious but is considered non -violent. Mia is currently an impatient at Apple gate house children’s psychiatric hospital where she is on High level constant arm’s length observations. She was found unconscious with severe blood loss but was treated by staff nurses on scene. She was fainted when we got to her but has been alert ever since. This is Emmet one of the staff nurse’s from the unit and will be performing her observations while she is in the emergency department today.” Rachel announce rattling off the information as she transferred me into the A&E and handed me over the Doctor that was waiting of me in the resus department. After the doctors and nurses listened intently to Rachel’s handover they converged onto the trolley taking me from all sides, they effortlessly picked me up and placed me onto the awaiting bed while Rachel and her team mate took the ambulance trolley away.

I continued with my hysteric sobs as the nurses and doctors worked around me attaching me to various monitors and drips and for the first time Emmet let go of my hand to avoid getting in the way. My reaction was instant and instinctive but totally unreasonable. There was no need for the panic stricken shriek that erupted out of my mouth like I had been possessed by some evil spirit. There was no reason for my limbs to thrash about like I had just been electrocuted. There was defiantly no reason for my desperate grasping hands to fly out in his direction to try and grab hold of him again like I had just been left by my mother on the first day of school but I did anyway, and I continued to scream as my body trembled from head to foot. His hand in mine had been stopping the screams that were building in my chest through the ambulance journey. His hand had been fighting the Demons that floated around my body. Without his touch I had become possessed by them. Without his hand gripped to mine and the rhythmic rubbing of his thumb I lost the only control I had left, and I was taken over completely.

Without realising what I was doing, I ripped the oxygen off of my face and the blood pressure cuff off my arm. I tore at the leads connected to my chest which instantly made the crash alarm wail and while the nurses reacted to the alarm I yanked the cannula out of my hand which sent a jet of deep red blood shooting up to hit one of the nurses square in the chest. I jumped up off of the bed with a clatter of crashing metal behind me and was on my feet running as fast as my injured legs could carry me. I had no idea what I was doing. Or where I was going but the demons in my mind pushed me on. All rational judgment had been erased from my mind. All control of every aspect of my life had been deleted. All I could hear was the frantic urgent screaming in my head. Run faster/get away/run faster/getaway.

“Mi stop!” I could hear the thundering of footsteps behind me but I pushed on anyway, beyond demands that I know I should respond to, I had lost my mind, I had lost my dignity, I had lost everything and I had to keep running. Somehow I had to run away from myself. Suddenly Emmet was in front of me blocking my way out the door and as not to bump in to him I hit the brakes skidding to a stop on the floor. The screaming stopped as I looked up into his eyes the tears streaming down over my cheeks. I also noticed tears glistening in his to but he, unlike me managed to keep them controlled. With one stride he stepped forwards and I instantly flinched expecting the restraint to come but it never did. Instead he had me wrapped tightly in his arms my face buried into his chest. He was hugging me. The sobs came back now and so did the shaking, but they were my tears, not the demons that I feared.

“It’s all right honey, It’ all right little one.” He whispered into my ear. I shook harder but he kept talking softly to me.  “It’s all right sweetheart, I’ve got you know, you’re Ok, you’re going to be Ok. It’s all right darling. Sleep now”

With that I felt the needle stick into the side of my arm, and the blackness washed over me.