Chapter 81 : back in the cage

“Wow dear me you can run fast. You should be an athlete.”

 “Esmee,” I retched kind of relived it was her and not Crystal as I had feared, before bringing up more of what looked like the Ensure barley missing her shoes as she jumped out of the way just in time.

“Oh dear me,” Esmee said gently the humor going out of her voice as she went down on her knees next to me and scoped back my hair tying it back with a rubber band she had around her wrist before she wrapped her arm over my shoulder.

“Esmee, Are you all right?” Another voice called from in the distance.

 “Yeah it’s all right Andrea I’ve got her. You can tell the others.”  Esmee called back over her shoulder while trying to shield my ear that she shouted by with one of her hands. It didn’t work, she was still scarily loud for such a little lady.

I vomited aging this time hitting her shoe by mistake. Esmee didn’t’t even flinch at the bile that was now covering her trainers, instead she rubbed the side of my shoulder a little faster; a wordless comfort that I didn’t deserve.

“Do you need a hand?” Andrea yelled back, she sounded a little closer now.

 “No it’s Ok I can manage. Mi’s just a bit sick at the moment but she will be all right soon. Can you open the clinic for me though? I just want to give her the once over, tell Nick we have her too, he might want to see her. Or at least reconsider her observations.”My heart sank and my stomach gave an involuntary contribution of more bile into the mess that was already on the floor As Esmee mentioned my observations. I had just got off high end observations and I had no desire to return to them.

 “All right honey, take it easy, big breaths.” Esmee encouraged gently in a motherly tone. Even though my eyes poured and my nose ran still I could not stop, over and over I retched sometimes being sick sometimes just pulling the muscles in my stomach until they screamed in agony. Esmee all the time kept up her motherly roll of comfort giver until eventually the nausea subsided and I collapsed into a heap on the floor to week to move,  A useless ucky mess. The tears came after that, I begged them not to but I couldn’t’t stop them. I had ruined everything. I had just got off the most embarrassing observations in the world and now I was most probably domed to spend the rest of my life on them. I had made a complete twit of myself in front of the majority of the rest of the patients and I frightened poor old Jack half to death. I wished the ground would swallow me where I lied but as that was unlikely to happen I wound myself into a tight ball instead, making myself as small as I could possibly become. Hoping if I was very lucky I might vanish from Esmee’s sight too.

“Can I have a look?” Esmee asked me gently reaching out to take my sliced hand. I noticed she didn’t’t have gloves on but I suppose that didn’t matter as a particular violent bout of sickness had covered her hand, shoe and maybe even her arm previously anyway. “This isn’t too bad.” She comforted in a musical voice “It looks worse than it is because it is your hand and they always bleed a lot, we can either take you across to the hospital or I could probably stitch it here if you wanted me to. It’s your choice.” Esmee said smiling warmly at me.I stopped the convulsions of my violent sobbing to put across my apperception that I would not have to go back to the A&E again. I had spent far too much time there recently. Anyone who could save me from that was nothing short of an angel.

 “Could we get you up then Mi, get you into the clinic so I can make a start on them?”  It was a genuine question not a demeaned as I expected it to be. As it would have been if it where Crystal. I was completely sure that Esmee would of let me remained in my sobbing ball if I told her I couldn’t’t manage it, I was sure of that but as it was I stumbled to my feet and agreed to accompany Esmee back into the building. I always knew such an ill thought out escape plan would end this way but as Esmee swiped her key card and the front doors buzzed open to let us in I couldn’t help feeling a new wave of panic, a new onset of nausea. A new deep dreading because as the locks clicked into place behind us it was like becoming trapped all over again.