Chapter 70 : I will be with you again

“You realize it’s your fault!” My mother snapped slamming her hands down on the table “She wouldn’t’t be dead if you were not so damn moody all of the time! You killed her”

 I pushed my chair away from the table and jumped up before legging it to the kitchen door. My mum lunged for me but I slipped under her arm and legged it to my bedroom the tears stabbing relentlessly in my eyes. I would not cry in front of her.

 Of course she was right though. Of course it was my fault. Arabella was dead because of me. Why was I not the one dead and cold in the ground? My body ached without Arabella, she had been my whole entire life and she had gone in a puff of smoke and she left me behind. There was an aching gaping hole punched through my tummy. There was no way to heal it. There was no way I could get away from it. There was no way I could live with it either. I had to get out and I knew how.

 I popped two pills out of the packet in my hand and swallowed them with the stale can of cola in my room. Over and over again I took out the little white tablets I had been collecting and placed them in my mouth swallowing. Once all the packets were empty I walked over to the canvas print of her on my wall and planted a kiss on her cheek smiling

 “It won’t be long now Arabella. I will be with you again soon.”