Chapter 88 : I am evil. This proves it

Breakfast didn’t start for another 15 minutes for the clients on the buildup menu and not for another 30 for the clients who were not. Apparently it was proven that build up menu clients took longer to finish their food. Emmet didn’t talk to me for those 15 minutes and that was the way I liked it to be. It gave me time to focus all the energy I was going to need for the task in front of me. Though now I tried to prove otherwise eating still didn’t’t come all that naturally to me. I needed some time to stare absent minded in into space and fight the raging Sophie inside of me.

 “Mia fight this, don’t give in, they want you to be fat and nasty. They want to get rid of me and you know I am your only friend. I am the only one that can save you from the fat greedy monster you have become Mia… They don’t understand you like I do. You don’t need the food Mia. You don’t need any of them. All you need is me.”

 Gently Emmet squeezed the top of my leg under the table. This was his own personal brand of silent reassurance and normally it helped  to ease my mind, but today he caught me off guard and I yelped as his fingers grasped around the new purple bruises that covered the flabby tops of my legs. My whole body stiffened in a blind panic. I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my face. I gripped the edge of the table to try and steady myself. If I played it right there was still hope I could come out of this one. I just had to pull out super actress Mi again.

 “Mi” Emmet said as softly as he could manage leaning closer to me so he could lower his voice even more. “Have you cut yourself?”  The bluntness of the question caught me off guard and my eyes darted up so quickly to look at him in the face I almost landed up head butting him. Even if it killed me I had to stare him down. I had to put pay to his accusations. If not they would want to strip search me. I shuddered to think what would happen if they saw the angry new bruises that raged across my body.

 “Mi, if you have I’m not angry. You have made so much progress it would be foolish to think something wasn’t going to give eventually. I just need to see if you have. Make sure it is clean and there is no infection” Emmet’s voice was so caring; I felt the tears brimming in my eyes. I wanted to stop pretending. I wanted to crumple and cry my heart out. I wanted him to hug me again and tell me it was all going to be Ok but I pushed the feeling away. Feelings were silly. So were my tears. The lie was better for everyone.

“I haven’t. I promise.” I said sternly with all the sincerity I could manage.

 “Are you telling me the truth Mi? I can trust you right?”

 No! “I promise I’m not lying. I haven’t hurt myself. You can trust me.”  I hate myself

 Emmet smiled warmly at me somehow convinced and I somehow managed to find a way to smile back. Somehow I had managed to reach a new low. I had discovered a new evil deep within me. How could I lie so brutally to someone who showed me nothing but compassion? At that moment I realized how disgusting I really was, and found out, Sophie was being kind.