Chapter 73 : I'm all ready dead

I could not speak as Esmee helped me back to my bed. My body shock with anger and resentment. The rest of my dignity had now been torn away from me and flushed away. I knew Esmee had watched patients use the bathroom before and she did not try to make it harder for me but there was no way to make it better, what I just had to go through was horrendous, degrading, Soul crushing.

 “You won’t be on red obs very long Mi and none of us pay any attention to it. It’s just part of our job.” Esmee said gently trying to sooth me but there was nothing she could do so I nodded once bluntly but could not look Esmee in the face. I know she was trying to make me feel better but her efforts where pointless. Nothing but time could now make me feel better.

I buried my head face down into the lumpy hospital pillow and once again let the tears take over me. I had been crying far too much lately as normally I never cried but now things seemed more helpless than ever before, Apple gate was keeping alive my corps. Inside I was already dead.