chapter 100 : mood swing

“Have you got any questions for me Mia, regarding the NG tube that is?”  I shuddered involuntary at the thought of the tiny white tube they would soon be sticking up my noise, about the sticky medical tape that would stick pulling at the side of my face. For the first time my scar would have a companion, something equally as disgusting for people to gaup at, another way for them to make me fat and ugly.

 “Mia?” Doctor Jordan persisted as I screwed myself up into a tighter ball screwing my eyes up tightly, begging for the nightmare to be over, pleading with myself to wake up screaming. There was also the fact that he was calling me Mia. Why was he angry with me? What had I done to him. Surely I should be mad at him, mad about the fact he came into my room and ripped me apart like an angry tornado in the space of fifteen minutes. Mad at the fact that soon he would leave and leave me trapped chin deep in the devastation of it.

 “I think she is just a bit shocked.” Esmee said eventually, trying to spare me any more pain. “She just needs some time. Emmet and myself can tell her anything she want’s to know about the procedure after all we will probably be the ones to insert it right.”

 Doctor Jordan let out a huff. Was he really enjoying torturing me? Was I not broken enough all ready for him? Why hadn’t he showed this face the first time I had met him? Where was the irrevocable truth face and the face of compassion? What had happened to the doctor Jordan I met in the sky light ward? The one that rolled up his sleeves and let me in on his own angry past. Surly he should understand. Why did he want to make it harder for me? Or was he expecting for me to be getting better by now, showing signs of improvement. Maybe I was a blemish on his reputation.

 “Well I will go. I have another appointment. Maybe Emmet and you Esmee can stay with Mi for a bit. I will let Jean know about the changes to Mi’s observations.”

 “OK.” Esmee and Emmet said simultaneously. Somewhere in me sparked and the childish urge to shout “Jinx” at them both. It was an Arabella thing. My whole life was always an Arabella thing, I didn’t feature much

 “Well Mi.” He said again to me, his voice again now back to concerned. “I hope you are feeling better soon.” and with that he left leaving me confused. His mode swings would give Jackle and Hyde a run for their money.