Chapter 62 : Ask and you shall receave... Damn it

 I came round to the alarms and the shouting of a woman.

 “Emmet! Emmet! I’m going to need you in dream ASAP.” The thudding of Giant footsteps thundered up the hall way,

 “What’s the matter Lauren?” He panted.

 “I… I think she’s hurt pretty bad.”

 “Mi… Mi honey, open your eyes now!” Emmet shouted loudly shaking my shoulders until I slowly opened my eyes for him.  He remained blurry around the edges but his face calmed me down a bit. Was this the help I carved upon my legs arrival? Somewhere in me I found a smile. I didn’t know why but after everything he had just done Emmet’s earlier kindness still lingered somewhere inside of me. As much as I tried I could not see him as a bad person.

 “Good girl Mi, you stay awake for me now and we will get you fixed up. “ Tears welled at my eyes. He was still being kind to me and I could not understand why. I was waiting for the explosion, the bitter edge to his words. I was waiting for him to give up on me and despair like so many before him had done. I wanted to scream at him, ask why he was still here. Ask why the hell he thought I deserved his compassion, but in the end all my lips could muster was a croaky “sorry”

 "It’s all right honey we all have blips, and if anything it is a fault on are part, we are here to keep you safe and we have failed this time.”

 I felt wretched. Here Emmet was blaming himself for my lack of control. I was never meant to go this deep, not then any way, I just wanted to feel better. I was just grasping at anything to make the pain go away, and it had, but as always with my own kind of therapy, the pain always came back. Just with more intensity,  just more demanding and prominent.

 “What can we do Em?”  A voice asked from the door of my room where a little gathering of staff who had all responded to the persistent panic alarm stood.  Every one of them looked calm and collected, like this was all part of the day job apart from one, and that was little Lauren.

 Lauren was barley older then I with shoulder length straight mousy brown hair. Her face was now chalky white. Her eyes where a shocking Emerald green and maybe though not in the traditional sense of the word she was mystically beautiful. She was the opposite of the Barbie girl plastic stunning like Ingrid represented so well but A deeper more poignant beauty reedited from her even though she was supporting what must have been a 200lb frame.

“But look at her Mi, look at all of her, including her three chins and colossal muffin top, she isn’t pretty, she’s grotesque…”

 “Right, Lauren go to the staff room and have a sweet drink or something so we don’t have to deal with you fainting. Andrea can you come over here and hold her legs up to try and stop the bleeding. Jacob can you run down to the clinic and pick up whatever looks like it will be absorbent enough to deal with this and some pressure bandages. Josh go and call an ambulance and try to keep the other clients either in their rooms or the lounge for the time being as we don’t want to upset them and Erin can you go and get Esmee and tell her to get blood pressure and oxygen monitors and then come up here to help me before the ambulance arrives. Also Mi is now on red arm’s length observations.”

 The fuzziness in my head cleared suddenly with the last statement and the screaming that I had been containing echoed out of my mouth like I had just been possessed by the devil. I didn’t even know what red obs where but I knew they were bad. I knew they were at the height of their power and I knew that people had been known to choose the ECA over it and that place alone had sent me insane in just the one short hour I had spent in there.

 “Keep your legs still Honey” Andrea said to me in what sounded like a strong Scottish accent but it was caring and almost sympathetic like somehow I had not been the one to cause my own injuries.

“Try and calm down Honey, we got it all under control, you’re going to be OK darling.” Emmet whispered soothingly just belay audible over my internal screaming and struggling limbs. How the hell had I got myself into this mess all over again?

 “How can you say that? You just put me on red obs.” I spat at him almost in a shout as I tried to out shout the screaming in my head.

 “Mi I am giving you the help you have asked for.” Emmet said a little sterner this time before going back to pushing the sheet he had ripped off my bed into the deep wounds. “I will help you like you asked even if you don’t really want me to.”