Chapter 68 : they are only tears

“Mi, there’s no need to be brave I can give you some morphine if you are in pain.” Rachel hesitated before adding “Or do you like the pain?” I brought my injured legs up hard and bashed them down causing the pain to ripple through my body like a thousand tiny knives. I cried out before I could stop myself. Somehow I thought causing me more pain i would make my point. Since when was it decided that I didn’t hurt like everyone else?

“I don’t think that’s a very appropriate question at the moment.” Emmet intervened gripping my hand slightly tighter as I began to shake and the uncontrolled sobs I had been trying to gulp down erupted out of my chest. I bit the pillow I had my head on trying to stop them but they come thick and fast now. I pulled at Emmet’s hand to let me go so I could hide my face in shame but he held on tight still rubbing the back of it with his thumb. He alone now fought the demons that raged inside me. This time I had already lost the battle against them. I always lost the battle against them.

“Is she violent?” Rachel asked now concerned as she watched my shaking body. “Should we pull over and get the police, is she likely to get physically aggressive?” I wailed harder and she took a step back as far as she could in the crowded ambulance. I hated being feared, I had never once tried to hurt anyone. Not even when Emily had me up against the wall trying to beat the crap out of me had I ever raised a finger back. Why did every one assume I wanted to hurt them? Was I really that messed up as a human being?

“For Heaven’s sake,” Emmet announced the most irritated I had ever heard him, “What’s she doing to make you imagine she is aggressive?” He snapped, I could tell the question was rhetorical. “They are only tears.”