Chapter 109 : Another fighter in my war

Esmee and Emmet worked in perfect unison, Esmee chucked him the bowl that Emmet caught perfectly and then he dropped to his knees and held it under my chin as the second bout of violent vomiting burst out of my mouth.

 “You’re Ok, honey; you’re Ok it will pass.” Emmet soothed getting to his feet taking the bowl of watery vomit away with him while Esmee immediately took his place holding another bowl under my chin. Edward then crouched on the other side of me and very gently whipped the vomit off of my mouth. I had no idea why but this made me smile. Probably because you’re an idiot.

I took big gulping breaths trying to take in as much air as possible between dry heaving as the mussels in my stomach stretched. Edward rubbed my back in a soothing manner as he whispered soothing comments to me trying somehow to make me feel better.

 "Emmet when your free could you set up some oxygen please.” Esmee asked sweetly over her shoulder while still squeezing my shoulder in her usual comforting way. I tried to gasp out my protest at the thought of having to be given oxygen but my lugs wouldn’t let me by squeaking where my voice should have been.

 “Sure thing,” Emmet said throwing a paper towel on top of the bowl of vomit and pulled off his gloves throwing them in the bin, he then went about pulling a mask out of the cupboards and clear plastic tubing. I tried to calm myself to get the image of the sick painfully thin girl in my head but just when I made any progress another image of her entered into my mind only worse than before.  That couldn’t have been me. Where were the bulges and the fat that stuck to the sides of my body when I normally looked into the mirror? Why was I so thin? I had been heading for purity but it was nowhere around. Either way the mirror looked I was disgusting.

I heaved again and Esmee moved the bowl back closer to my mouth while Edward scoped my hair off of my shoulders that Esmee had let out of its pony tail after it was done, I heaved again pulling harder at my stomach muscles and more vomit entered into the new bowl Esmee had under my mouth.

 “You finished for a while honey?”  Emmet asked once again swapping his place with Esmee he had a mask held in his hand.

 “I’m sorry.” I moaned sitting down properly on the floor, the nausea for then at least seemed to be passing. Edward once again wiped off my lips and again I smiled. God you really are stupid.

 “Here try some of this.” Emmet tried to snap the green elastic over the back of my head from the now assembled oxygen mask but I shock him off clawing at the mask with my hand making it go away.

 “Dear me Mi,” Esmee interjected as she crouched down on the other side of me. “What is it about you that don’t like oxygen?” she asked taking the oxygen mask off of Emmet and pulling it over my head ignoring the protests. My panic rose immediately as the plastic of the mask sucked its self to my face and I tried once again to claw it off but Emmet was quicker them me with his lightning fast reflexes he grabbed hold of both my hands in his vice like grip and held them down at my sides. With the absence of anything else I could do the tears then come again streaming out of my eyes as I yelped like a puppy in my attempts to keep them inside. My breathing became even more erratic then it was before as the oxygen hissed going down into my lugs; it felt more like it was billowing poison into them. My stomach clinched again and the vomit gushed up the back of my already sore throat.

 “I’m going to be sick.” I gasped trying to drag my hands free of Emmet’s so I could pull the mask from my face and grab the dish that was beside me in time. I guessed vomiting into an oxygen mask would not have been a pleasant experience. Esmee reacted first yanking the mask off from my face just before I was violently sick again this time pretty much square over her blouse. My insides went cold but my cheeks went bright red burning with the embarrassment of what had just happened. I had been sick over Esmee’ shoe before but this was something else altogether. I wanted to curl up where I was and die.

“Esmee,” I gasped. “I am so, so sorry,” I cried the sobbing tone returning to my voice before I bent over and curled my body wrapped up into a tight ball letting the scream that was inside me finally emerge from my lips.

 “Mi, it’ Ok, you couldn’t help it. I am a nurse it has happened to me millions of times before. I will just go have a shower and get changed and it will be like nothing has happened. It’s not a big deal Ok, it really isn’t. Don’t let this upset you any more then you already are. It hasn’t upset me. It just goes with the job.” Esmee said her voice still calm and controlled even though she was now wearing an outfit that mostly consisted of my breakfast.

“It’s not all right!” I screamed bashing my forehead against the cold lino floor of the clinic room. “Nothing is all right!” Before Esmee could respond again I had someone else’s arms wrapped around me and I buried myself in closer to his chest grateful for anything or anyone that was going to hold me together Just a little bit as most of me headed down the drain.

 “Your OK Honey, You’re alright.” Edward whispered trying to get a better grip around my body. “it’s all OK. Esmee will be fine and so will you. We are all here to help you together.”