I could not look at Esmee again as she returned back to sit down on the
toilet seat and I stepped into the scolding hot shower. The water that rushed
over my body soothed all the aching and the stinging on the outside but on the
inside everything still raged and without really thinking I banged my head hard
up against the cool tiled wall. Somehow with the impact the raging turmoil
inside me edged slowly away and I could get on with washing my hair and
scrubbing at my body with the soap and hot water. Only I really knew why I
never felt clean.
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