Chapter 85 : Better behavior, on the mend and other theory’s

I was awaken again by the small strip of light that shined in my window and danced across my face at approximately 6 thirty to 7thirty in the morning. I was used to this awakening now because an uneventful week had passed since Esmee had to stitch up my hand. There were many theories as to what had happened to change me into this rule obeying calm and collected model client of the Unit and they were all interesting to behold, if not all a little crazy.

 Crystal’s assumption along with Bev the teachers and some of the other nurses I didn’t’t particularly care for was I had been testing the water, bending the rules to see how strict the punishment’s would be and I had just learned that I wasn’t going to get away with it so I just learnt to behave.

 “It’s not an uncommon pattern of behavior” I had heard crystal say as a side remake to Jacob two days ago as she shot filthy looks at me across the table as I obediently ate every damn bit of shepherd’s pie and peas that was placed in front of me. “Especially with our more attention seeking patients” Crystal continued to Jacob who nodded in agreement. “They soon learn that we won’t tolerate any nonsense from them and we won’t supply them with the Attention that they want, then they learn how to behave. I mean look at her she hasn’t got an eating disorder now has she, and…” Her comments were cut off as Edward the nursing assistant doing dinner obs with me cleared his throat loudly and glared at her across the table stopping her conversation dead.

 Others preferred the miraculous recovery theory. That somehow just over a week in apple gate had cured me of any Mental illness I may have had or had ever suffered. Apparently I now looked well.

“She’s got the color back in her cheeks.” I heard Libby discuses with Ingrid in the nurse’s station one night as I lay awake in bed; the sweltering heat prevented sleep. “I mean she’s eating better and she seems so much happier.” Ingrid chirped. “The transformation is just incredible Libby from the girl I checked in here just a week ago. I would swear it is a completely different person.

 “Yes.” Libby agreed excitedly “She’s really good for this place, a role model to the other patients especially young Bella.” At that point I put my headphones in I didn’t’t want to hear any more. If I was the only role model Bella had she was never going to get anywhere and she needed some hope, she needed someone to look up to.

 The truth in fact was a lot less divine and not half as skeptical. I was playing them at their own game. I was finding their weakness and seeing how they all ticked. I was working out their alliances. I wasn’t going to be screwed over by them so I got the advantage first. Pure and simply I was bullshiting the hell out of them. I was far from OK.

n fact it had never been worse.