Chapter 152 : Like stitches

“Are you happy for me to do this?” Emmet asked as he gathered all the supply’s together from the various cupboards that he would need. “Or would you prefer one of the ward nurse’s to do it? They will be better at It.”

 “You can do it. You’re always so gentle.”  I responded giving him my bandaged arm, he smiled.Emmet began to take the bandage from around my arm. He was amazingly gentle with me so the pain I felt was very minimal.

 “You have made so much progress in the last month Mi.” Emmet said gently

 “Have you got a screw lose or something Emmet?”  I asked “I mean look at me. Look at what you’re having to do for me. Where does your idea of progress come from?” I asked defeated.

 “Mi the first time I saw you, you were curled up in a ball on your bed, rocking back and forth convinced that everyone was going to hurt you, locked in a barricade, keeping out everything and everyone. You are someone completely different from that now.”

 “I don’t think I achieved anything.” I groaned turning my head away to look at the pictures from past children that spent some time on the ward, most where well deserved thank you pictures to the nurses, I had watched them work with the little kids, and they were amazing with them.

 “You my honey bunny, wouldn’t, mostly because it has been built into you for years that you aren’t good enough at anything, People have hurt you lots haven’t they Mi?”

 I felt the tears rise at the back of my eyes. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to tell him about Joe about Brian, about my mother and her heavy damn hands, about my pregnancy, but had I really improved all that much? Was I really ready to trust anyone like that? They told me that no-one could know that even if I did tell, no-one would believe me.  They said that people would laugh at me or be angry at me for making up such lies and I couldn’t cope with Emmet doing either. He was the kindest person I had met in fifteen years of life and he seemed to like me witch seemed imposable. I couldn’t see him walk away.

 “Emmet,” I finally sighed defeated. “Emmet I want to talk to you. Honest I really do. I want to talk to you so much but I just can’t. Maybe I haven’t made as much progress as you think I have.” I sighed. “I’m sorry. I have messed up again.”

 “You my darling have nothing to apologize for.” Emmet said softly peeling the dressing off of the long jagged cut to reveal a neat line of about ten stitches pulling it all together when it wanted to break apart. Those stitches reminded me a bit of Emmet. He was constantly pulling me together when I wanted to break apart.