Chapter 138 : Chocolate makes the world go round

The rest of that day past upside down in a blur of beeping machines blood pressure cuffs drips and blood test with a fair amount of day time television thrown in for good measure before finally at the end of the day a nurse came in with a smiley face and announced that the doctor was now happy with all the test and I could have the various monitors out of me and at last return to an upright position on the bed.

“Are you feeling OK? The nurse asked me looking into my face as she returned my bed slowly to an upright position.

 “ A bit dizzy,” I mumbled as the ward swam around my eyes like I was in an over grown fish bowl.

 “That will ease in a bit OK. It’s just because you have been laid back for a fair old while now.” The nurse smiled again keeping her head in my line of vision until it solidified fully. “Better?”

 “Much,” I nodded

 “Well call us if you need anything.” The nurse smiled turning away opening the curtains back around my bed then heading off out to the nurses’ station.

 “Back with the rest of us then Cup cake?” Jean asked looking at me with her same old smiling face , “You up for playing a board game or something? There is nothing on TV.”

 “Can do,” I nodded my eyes creeping over the ward until they fell on the girl two beds down that had helped when I cut my wrist the day before. She was sat on the end of her bed crossed legged looking over in our direction. “Do you want to play to?” I offered her in a rare moment of bravery knowing she had been listening into are conversation any way, plus board games where always better with three playing.

 “Oh do I!” She said in an existed voice jumping up from her position on the bed grabbing a little box of chocolates from her bed side table on her way over before she plonked them on the lap table over my bed “Have a chocy,” She encouraged nodding towards the box. I noticed Jean scrutinizing my reaction out the corner of my eye as I stared at my nemesis that had intruded my cubical, they were about as welcome as a cat in a dog kennel and Jean new this; she also had no idea how I would react.

 “I don’t normally eat chocolate,” I mumbled.

 “I can tell that,” she nodded pulling a chair up to my bed from the cubical next to me before diving into the box herself and unwrapping the shiny foil around the chocolate, “All the more reason to have one if you ask me. Chocolate makes the world go round after all.” she laughed, popping it into her mouth.

 I almost growled in my frustration at how easy it was for her. Why couldn’t I do what she had just done? Why was it so much harder than that for me? I absolutely adored the taste of chocolate, it had once easily been my favorite food and now I was at war just looking at it, something else that had been taken from me.

 “Oh my god Mia I can‘t believe you are even thinking about chocolate! How could you betray me like that? You know all food is bad Mia, you know all food is just there to make you fat but you know chocolate is the worse just looking at it you will put on weight. Remember the motto Mia, nothing taste as good as thin feels, that will make you perfect,  that will make you just like me.”

 Without thinking what I was really doing I leant forward to the box and swiped a chocolate before swiftly unwrapping it and shoving it in my mouth and chewing a normal amount of times before swallowing. I was starting to think if being Skinny meant being like Sophie did I really want it all that much?