Chapter 135 : My mistakes solved

Looking around the cubical I struggled to find something that could be used to hurt myself with. If not to use there and then I would try to horde it in the lining of one of my bras, but all there was where the pins on the tiny pin board behind me and the four drips above my head that ran into my body through my hands. I had no Idea what ran into me apart from two. One was the deep dark red substance with a giant A written on it and the other was in a very large bag with rescue drip feed written on it in big letters while in little letters underneath 48 hours was written. It seemed that the sentence for slitting you wrist in a hospital was an extra 24 hours’ worth of calories and glucose.

 “Oh my god, are you going to just sit there and take that?” Do you realize what that will do to you? Look at your stomach. It’s already fatter. Suck it in you fat bitch!”

 I instantly sucked in my tummy and locked down at the bulge of fat that discussed me, without thinking I pulled the tubes that come out of my hands up around me and posed a pin from the board at the ready to make the little holes in the tubes so the calorie liquid could flow away. If they never knew it would never hurt them and this way I also wouldn’t’t get any fatter.

 I made five holes in the tube close together causing tiny spurts of the liquid to flow away into a vomit bowel I held underneath. This of course made Sophie very happy and she purred like a contented kitten; I was happy too, I think. The trouble was the images that floated to the top of my mind, The image of the painfully thin girl that looked sadly back at me from the mirror. The girl Emmet said was me and if that was true, I needed this drip, I needed it badly.

 “The nurse will come with the morphine in a minute.” Ingrid said cheerfully entering back into the room of curtains. Her simile seemed far too warm and sincere for me to lie to and in a moment of brilliance or complete madness I cracked open and told her what I had done.

“Ingrid can you help me. I have done something stupid.” I whispered holding up the damaged tube from the drip to show her what I had done. I naturally expected the anger to follow but instead she smiled at me.

“We can sort that out Mi, you have done amazingly well for telling me, I’m proud of you.”