Chapter 121 : Flight

We bumped into George as we entered into the hall way and he smiled at me, I also saw his eyes slide to the right so he could steal a peek at the new accessory to my face. I had to clinch my hands tight to stop me from reaching up to my face and ripping it out, I also felt the wetness gather in my eyes that I squashed down. There were to be no more tears shed today.

 “We were just looking for you George.” Esmee said distracting him by moving her body into his line of vision. My insides hurt for her to stay with me I didn’t want to be with George.

 “As I was for you, does Mi want to go outside again?” He asked Esmee ignoring me completely his strange twisted smile forming over his face.  He wanted to be alone with me. I felt the warning bubble of panic float up inside of me before settling on my chest making it harder for me to keep my breathing calm and steady. I twisted my hands as the familiar feeling of nausea found my tummy again. I did not want Esmee to leave me with George no matter how harmless he really was and I silently begged her from the very core of me to find someone else to put me with.

 “Why don’t you ask her for yourself she is right here?” Esmee said patting me on the back catching me off guard I stumbled forward a bit and tears almost escaped over my eye lids. The terror swooped over me now with it‘s all engulfing power it seemed Esmee was not able to read my mind and with that gentle nudge forward  felt like she threw me to the lions, or even worse into the circle. The circle of people who were all bigger than me and could do what they wanted with me and I was petrified.

 "So how about it Mi, you fancy some more fresh air with old George?” George asked stepping closer to me.  I couldn’t speak as my throat clogged up and the walls around me began to bleed into each other, the voices of age old forgotten things echoing in my mind. I took in a sharp intake of breath as the George in front of me seemed to melt into someone else then someone else then someone else again. I dug my fingernails into the fragile flesh of my arms and tried to blink away the sounds and images in my mind but it were no use I was drowning.

 “Are you OK Mi?” Esmee asked catching hold of my hand in hers. I knew it was meant to be a nice gesture but it felt restraining and powerful against me, like I was trapped in it, like I was her doll as well as Georges. Together they could use me abuse ma and leave me. I had to get away. I struggled out of her grasp so I could stand alone and took a few steps back from her. Somehow even Esmee was changing in front of me, what the hell was happening? Why now had this been triggered from so deep inside of me?

  I don’t know if the panic had become plain to see but I noticed George put his right hand to rest on top of his left wrist, the slightly illuminated red light of his alarm peeking out through his fingers, was he going to push it? I also noticed that Esmee had readied herself for a restraint, like somehow I was going to hurt them and not the other way round. I had to steady my breathing and use some strength I didn’t know I had to stop me from running away, I didn’t know how I managed it. My body had gone into fight or flight but I was too scared to do either.

 “We don’t have to go outside Mi; we can go anywhere you want.” George said also moving his body into position for a possible restraint.

 “I have to go to the bathroom.” I mumbled unable to stand the fact that George might actually restrain me to him and without thinking of the consequences I took off up the corridor at a sprint. Flight had finally won over.