Chapter 158 : Finally rescued

I longed to reach out and put both my arms around Emmet to hold him so tight next to me and never let him go, I wasn’t sure why, was it because he believed me when it had been drummed into me for years that no one ever would. Was it because he didn’t hate me that he didn’t see it from my abusers points of view, or was it just because I needed to hold onto something before I broke apart?

“I suppose I should shower. I said still looking down at the diamond shaped patterns on the  floor having to almost sit on my hands to hold them back so I couldn’t reach out for him.

“Are you sure you’re feeling OK to be alone right now?” Emmet asked gently putting his hand on my shoulder. His hand was like a power source to me. Like I was some sort of receiver and the feelings that were being suppressed returned with a frightening intensity. The sadness was the main feeling, the black wave of despair that dragged me to the bottom of the ocean with such a force it felt like I would never see the surface again, like I would never be able to breathe again, like my soul got lost to the waves and the sea and it would be cursed to cry there forever.

Almost surprisingly to me the tears found their way to my eyes and hit me like a ton of bricks making  me burst into tears like a child does when they fall off of their bike, or a toddler falls flat on their face when they are learning to walk. They were loud long and uncontrolled and in my case shameful. I had lost the right to cry. They had even took that away from me in my eyes.

“Come here little one.” Emmet said softly scooting closer to me so he could wrap his protective arms around my shaking body and hold me tight to him. “I can’t make the pain go away Mi but I wish I could.” He whispered into the top of my head. “I wish there was a way I could take it all away but I can’t all I can do is hold you tight and let you cry and let you know I am right by your side.” He said again as he slightly rocked me back and forth in his arms like you would comfort a crying child. Like he was comforting the abused six year old within me, like somehow, I had finally been rescued.