Chapter 203 : One persons mess up, another person's goddess

“You dashed pretty's only chance of a compliment
and gave the plain the blues
Turned supermodel into last year's pull
and got her down shining your shoes
And I don't mean to be hod carrier
of the ordinary folks bad news
But tell Miss World to fly to Mars
If she really doesn't like to lose.”

Closer than most

The beautiful south

“I’m so sorry,” I wept pressing my body in closer to Emmet’s, I’m so, so sorry.”

 “That’s OK, it’s OK, you tried, you came and got me, we can sort it out, we always sort it out don’t we.” It was true. He had always sorted it out. He had spent his entire life sorting it out. At nineteen he had sorted me out and fourteen years later he still was. He had changed. His face was different; maybe softer around the edges. His hair was a bit longer and slightly less harsh and was it possible that his eyes had gotten bluer, they were defiantly older now but through it all he had stayed the same as well. He was my Emmet, the one I fell instantly for.

 “Come through to the bathroom. The lights better in there; I can see what I’m dealing with.” Emmet took me by the shoulders and pushed me towards the end of our bedroom and through the open door into the little en suite before turning on the bright light and pushing me down to the toilet seat, grabbing a towel from the pile and falling to his knees in front of me.

 “Are they sore?” He asked dabbing at the blood gently that still leaked from the wounds.

 “Not so much.” I lied. The truth would hurt him

 “You liar. There is no way that these couldn’t be sore. I’m going to have to make it worse though, I’m so sorry,” Emmet moaned before taking the towel and pressing it down hard against the roll of wounds. I yelped before I could stop myself, the pain swelling inside my leg and pushing towards the surface like something was trying to break through the skin that was left and send the wounds wider. “I know, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I just have to stop the bleeding. You’re doing well,” Emmet tried to comfort rubbing the side of my arm with his spare hand, making the pain retreat, His touch like anaesthetic.

 “I think we should put you in the bath, run some water so it covers your legs and wash them off that way, I can see what we’re dealing with then, there’s lots of dried blood in the way at the moment so I’m not sure what’s wounds and what’s blood.”

 I did as I was told without talking or even thinking that much. I wasn’t sure if I felt like a naughty school girl or felt sad. In fact I wasn’t sure I felt anything at all, maybe a handful of regret. It was easy to feel that now. Now there wasn’t the chocking feeling somewhere inside of me, now blade monsters had been sedated, it was easy to feel regret for the progress that I had thrown away. If I was still fighting them, if I hadn’t approached the cupboard on the right, things would have been different.  I would have probably been halfway to crazy.

 Once the water was a quarter way up the side of the tub and was cool enough to have lap against the new cuts I lowered myself into the bath and let the water wash over me turning the pure  crisp liquid a dirty brown as it cleansed my legs off the mess and revealed the damage below slowly. Like the fancy words that hid the truth of a hopeless situation.

 Softly and delicately Emmet leaned over the side of the bath with the towel and brushed it over the surface of my leg congealed blood sticking in lumps to his fingers and staining them red, he didn’t even have to think about it. He did it without complaint or prejudice when most would have walked away, when even I would have walked away from myself.

 “OK let’s get you out,” Emmet said a few minutes later putting both his arms under my elbows and steadying me as I got to my feet and stepped out of the bath trying not to shiver as Emmet probed at the wounds. I wasn’t cold and it wasn’t exactly fear that I felt either, numb also didn’t fit the situation and neither did sad. Deflated was closer, defeated followed and completely humiliated chased the tail of defeated. I felt absolutely everything which made me feel nothing apart from slightly nauseated and above all very little and young. The years stripped off of me as I stood in the wet black cotton underwear and pink and white stripped vest top. There were wet tips to my hair and my arms did not feel big enough to stop me from feeling so naked even though I wore my cloths even after being in the bath. Emmet did not notice. I was still the women he loved even if I had become the child I hated inside my head . The tears that had become dry as Emmet tended to me in the bath threated to take me again but I pushed them away.

 “A couple of these are deep,” Emmet confirmed after he patted down my legs with the towel and he got to his feet. I have suture Kits but there long and deep and there is quite a lot of them. You’re going to need twenty odd stiches I would imagine and I’m not sure I can do it, at least not convincingly. A doctor would be able to...”

 “You’re honestly suggesting that I go to the A&E? You know there are a hundred and one reasons why that is a bad idea.  Just whack a few stitches in, as long as I keep them clean it will be fine. It’s not like scaring is a huge issue here. I am already spectacularly messed up in that department and I’m not entering miss world anytime soon. I haven’t exactly got the body of a goddess... So you fuck it up. It’s just me.” I hurt him. I wasn’t really sure how but I saw the pain register on his face before I had time to back track over my words, before I could remember that he saw me as something a little different, like the lenses of his eyes turned me into something else. Desirable and pretty, sexy even, something that turned him on.

 “I could never live with myself if I whacked a few stitches in there and it healed badly. Your body may mean so little to you but like it or not your my goddess,” Emmet moaned his voice pained as he bent down and kissed the base of my throat, “to me you are the most perfect, the most pretty…” He moved up my neck edging towards my face…”the most stunningly amazing person I have ever set eyes on.” His lips reached mine and we remained locked there for a few seconds’ passion and pain keeping us somehow interlocked before Emmet found a way to break away, my teeth brushing his soft and warm bottom lip as he went.

 “I can’t go A&E Emmet,” I said breathing deeply

 “I wasn’t going to make you honey, I was just going give Leo a call.”