Chapter 199 : No rest for the wicked

At that moment I wanted to tell Esmee Everything that had happened to me before when I was in the town Centre and even a small part of me wished I had made the other choice; taken the other path and called them up from the place where he had raped me and told them everything. then if they hadn’t believed me took the overdose, but still I knew the rejection I would of felt as she turned away from me would have caused me more pain then any number of tablets could have. A pain that would have made even a few more seconds of life unbearable and just as I had opened my mouth to tell her the real reason for my cuts I closed it again defeated by his forever shouting voice in my head telling me that no one would believe me any way, and if I told anyone they would call me a lire and put me away in the loony bin.

 “But I am already there,” I said quietly to the voice in my head. “You put me there in the end you did this to me and I never told a soul about your games and just when I thought I was safe…” I hadn’t realized until then but I had been talking aloud to the monster inside my head like I sometimes did when they seemed so real; like he was sitting there next to me controlling me, whispering his poison into my ear.

 “Are you all right Mi? Esmee asked looking at Emmet suspiciously; both of them working out individually but simultaneously that I was hearing something that they could not. “Who are you talking to honey? Can you tell me what they’re saying to you?” Esmee asked gently arranging her face into a cool nonchalant smile that seemed so unnatural on her in a way; in reality she was never nonchalant about anything especially if it was hurting someone.

 “I’m talking to myself,” I yelped as another shot of pain hit me and the nausea clenched at my stomach before rolling up my throat in the space of seconds a cruel and nasty reminder that there was no rest for the wicked like my mother always said to me when I grumbled about burning my hands on the iron because I was too little to hold it properly, however mercifully I had been given a few minutes respite from the sickness and pain; that was more than my mother had ever given me from the housework. 

 “Oh not again,” I yelped as the pain once again intensified and I vomited two mouthfuls of sticky black bile half into the bowl and half onto the protector beside my face. “I want it to stop,” I yelped the tears taking over me,  my resolve at coping with the pain depleting every second , I may have deserved it but it didn’t make it any easier.

 “It’s all right sweet heart it will go away soon.” Esmee soothed but my body had different ideas as I felt every one of my muscles start to contract and convulse again like they had done back at the park before the ambulance had come.

 “She’s fitting again! Esmee shouted as Emmet hit a button which sent my bed crashing to a lying position and two of the A&E nurses rushed over in my direction just before one more heave of sickness splashed violently onto the protector and onto the floor. Unthinkably the pain became worse but there was not time to shriek out before my head spun out and I once again fell under the blackness that was always lurking in the back of my head.