Chapter 39 : Arabella's discovery

I watched the blood slowly trickle, a line of red down my arm,   a pure line of crimson tears. The cut wasn’t deep but still it was bleeding more than I had experienced before and even though I was scared I liked what I saw. I liked the euphoria that fluttered through my veins and I needed more. I took my blade and made another cut beside of the one that was already there, and then another one. A sort of frenzy setting in frosting over my numb brain where all else was covered accept from my lust to see more and more of my blood.

 Every cut caused more and more brilliant beads of thick red liquid to form and then slowly topple down my arm making its own disturbed trail. Sometimes they would crash into each other and form a huger droplet before it rolled so fast it dropped delicately onto the white sheet in front of me causing a little ripple. Every cut brought another wave of sick satisfaction. Every bead of blood almost made my stomach flip over in ecstasy, like I had been connected to some miracle drug through an IV. As long as I was cutting, everything in my life was Ok. As long as I was breaking into my skin with the harsh metal I could survive everything. The badness was leaving, setting me free. I was light and pretty and pure I was no longer stupid Mia that everyone hated, but perfection.

“Mi-moo.” I head Arabella gasp from the side of my room but I still couldn’t look away from my bleeding arm. At that moment my bleeding was more important then everything, even Arabella.

 “Mi-moo, stop it.” Arabella shouted as she  raced over to my side and pressed her hands down on to my bleeding wounds pulling the already covered sheet from the side of my bed up to wrap around my arm.

“Oh mi,” Her voice said again cracking in pain before she put her arms around my neck and pulled me into her chest. She rocked me from side to side kissing the top of my head as she did. I felt the tears burning at the back of my eyes as she soothed me. Cutting was perfect while I was cutting, after it left me broken however before I cut that bit never mattered.

“Mi, I never knew.” Arabella said again planting another kiss on the top of my head. “I’m sorry, so sorry.” I had no idea why she was apologizing, but she went on any way muttering the same thing over and over again.

Suddenly she released me from her chest and cupped her hands around my tear streaked cheeks. Pain registered intently upon her face. Stroking my cheek softly with her thumb she reached over and kissed me delicately on my forehead.

“I’m sorry” was all I could whisper at the agony I could see behind her chocolate brown eyes. At this she took my freshly cut arm and kissed every one of the new angry cuts, marking her lips red with my bad blood while muttering under her breath all the time -
“I love you, and I will make it better Mi moo.”