Chapter 30 : Nineteen

The three of them led me down the stairs and into the dinning room. Like a condemned mans walk to the electric chair. After all in there waiting for me would be a fait worse then death.

“Ingrid, Crystal.” One of the girls cheered from the long wood affect table were everyone in the unit was now sat. Lions in a cage waiting for feeding time.

“We thought Emmet had eaten you!”

Laughter admitted from the entire table, everyone but Bella who looked about ready to throw her plate of food across the floor and run from the room sobbing.

“All right, all right.” Emmet joked holding his hands in the air. “So I don’t like missing dinner.” Once again a flood of laughs erupted and Crystal and Ingrid took their seats, sliding like snakes into their gaps that had been left for them. Leaving only two places available at the table; ours. In front of the seats where two giant plates of food awaiting us there. As a reflex I stiffened but Emmet gently pushed me towards the seat and I sat down. I thanked my lucky stars I was on the outside of the table and closest to the door.

The table went back to eating. Eighteen forks skimming the surface of plates, I was number nineteen. Nineteen didn’t eat. Nineteen was strong and Solid. Nineteen was breaking apart .

“ Eat up.” Emmet said cheerfully handing me my fork. I gripped it hard in my un-plastered hand and looked down at the massive meal that was placed in front of me. It was some sort of cheesy pasta substance, with a wilting salad and a piece of fruit all of which was wrapped up In the promise of a stodgy pudding for afterwards. It looked miserable in itself, a proper plate of hospital food. The look and smell was overwhelming and terrified me alone. The thought of me having to eat the whole plate full seemed impossible but still it had to be done. There was no way to out run it and I knew any escape effort would end up with me being tackled to the floor in front of everyone.

I picked with the edge of my fork at the pasta bake, taking a small bite. The taste wasn’t bad but still the whole thing tortured me. I went on anyway taking another small bite of pasta from the side of the plate. The sticky cheese sticking into the corners of my mouth. The voice in my head was screaming now, an unrelenting scream that hurt my ears and head.

“Mia, Mia! Mia stop! What are you doing! Mia do you know how many calories are in that! Mia! Greedy pig! You’re a greedy pig! You don’t need to eat!”

I pushed the voice down, internally counting the calories in my head of the food on my plate and then on my fork and then into my mouth. Every mouth full was a sum in my head, every mouth full was complete hell. I counted the tiny fork full’s I put in my mouth. I slipped in number 10 and swallowed hard with out bothering to chew and the pasta slipped down to join the tight ball in my tummy. My head screamed louder.
“ Well done Mi.” Emmet said next to me, giving me a wink. I jumped. I had become completely involved in my task and had forgotten I was sharing a room with another Eighteen people.

“Mia, don’t listen to him Mia! Have you got any idea what you are doing? All our good work. You are throwing it away. You fat cow! You fat useless cow! No one will ever love you if you keep on eating. you fat useless idiot.”

I managed another fifteen tiny bites - half the salad and a tenth of the pasta. Two hundred and fifty calories - before the retching started.