Chapter 37 : The most absolute box.

The most absolute box.

I took one more deep breath before I swiped my card key into the door of the ECA making it click open with a buzz.  Bella was sat in one of the far corners. Her legs brought up to her chest with her face hid into her knees while using her hands to propel her backwards and forwards in a fast rocking movement.  I could tick the first part of my assessment already if I had wanted to; actively distressed.

“Bella, I’m sorry that happened Honey.” I said going over to her, crouching down next to her rocking ball.

“I know this won’t be of much comfort to you, but I did tell her off and sent her out the dining room. I won’t tolerate bullying honey.”

 Bella sat silently the only response being the increase in her rocking. Was I making her more distressed? If so I could leave her and come back later to do the assessment.  She was safe in the ECA.

 “Do you want me to come back in a bit and check on you? I don’t mind if you want some space.”

 “I’m sorry Esmee; I think I’ve wet myself.” Bella said as quietly as she could her rocking picking up as she spoke until she was in danger of doing a forward roll into one of the walls.

“I’m really sorry,” she sniffed, tears taking her.

 “That’s all right honey. There’s no reason to be upset over that. It’s nothing a bath and a clean pair of pyjamas won’t solve is it?”

 “I’m fifteen years old.” Bella moaned, her posture deflating into herself.

“What does that have to do with anything? I’m thirty years old."

“And when was the last time you wet yourself?” Bella hissed her anger and pain crashing somewhere in the middle to form a low pitched sob as her body slumped more sown the side of the wall and into the ground like she was melting into the cracks of the floor boards.

 “About two months ago, and guess what I wasn’t even very distressed. I just got caught out in the park with my daughter when the toilets were closed and I couldn’t make it home in time.”

“Stop trying to make me feel better.”

“I’m not. I swear on my daughter’s life it happened.” I laughed, reaching out and brushing the hair out off of the side of her face before tucking it behind her ear. “You’re Human Bella; we all are.”

 “Well I give up. I’m tired. I’m so damn tired and I don’t want to do it anymore. Being human isn’t working for me so I’m leaving for something better.” Bella said stubbornly and my smiles and laughter faded away. I knew what question I had to ask next but I also knew in that statement she had already answered it.

“Are you telling me you’re suicidal Bella?”

 She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have too.  The assessment was over. She had just ticked the most absolute box. Bella wasn’t safe.