Chapter 28 : In the Lions den

My body convulsed with violent shaking. I felt sick. I felt hot. I felt cold. I wrapped my self up in my barricade and rocked, pressing my lips tightly to my knees, the only thing I could do to stop myself being sick down my front. I could hear nothing apart from my internal screaming and boy didn’t it wail.

“Do something Mia! Do something! Your already huge. Do something you fat cow! You mustn’t eat! Who said you were aloud to eat? Your to fat to eat. You don’t deserve food. What happened to perfection? What happened to shiny? He doesn’t know what he Is on about . He’s against you Mia, he wants you to be fat. I’m not. I want you pretty and perfect. I can make you pure again.”

I screamed into my knees trying to block out the terrified voice in my head. I dug my nails into my Jeans and into the fragile skin underneath until I felt the pinching of nails on my skin. I didn’t mind the pain. It almost made things feel better, but nothing could change it completely. Still my head screamed. I was in Indescribable pain but no one else could see it. No one else could feel it. So to them it wasn’t there. It felt like I was dying. It felt like every bone in my body had been snapped. I opened my mouth and screamed again, biting down on my knees while screwing my eyes shut. They were going to make me eat but I was fat/fat/fat. Worthless/fat/worthless.

“Mi, Mi you need to calm down Ok” Emmet said firmly, and I tried but I couldn’t, all control was lost to the screaming in my head. I clawed at my legs trying to hold on to the real world around me but the walls between reality and hell where crumbling. The only thing that remained the same was Emmet; solid and calm. A rock weathering my storm.

“Mi, you need to calm down and take control of this. This will only control you if you let it.”

It wasn’t as simple as that. I thrashed my arm out and whacked the side of my good wrist on the wall next to my bed. The pain vibrated through my body, a short shocking stab and I was distracted. The voice shut up and I was able to catch my breath. I found something to save me. I reached out and bashed my arm again and again. The pain braking up my body and through my limbs however every hit drove my despair away. With every hit I forgot about all I must consume.

“Mi.” Emmet placed his hand on my leg. I smashed my wrist again. “Mi,” Emmet said again. Stronger this time, more clinical. I didn’t care. I couldn’t care. I had found my release; a way to survive the news.

“Mi. I can not let you do that . You have to stop or we will have to stop you.” I tried but I couldn’t stop. I needed this, at that moment it felt like I needed it more then anything in the world. I had to keep my thin pale wrist bashing against the concrete of the wall. It was like my life depended on it, like if I stopped I would be sucked into a burning vortex of nothingness. If I stopped bashing my wrist, somehow I would lose myself to nothing.

“Mi I’m sorry about this, I really am.” A loud polyphonic deep groaning beep filled the air around me and initials flashed wildly in bright LEDS from the understated black band around his wrist. So that was what they were for. I suppose panic alarms made sense.

“I’m sorry Mi, I really am.” Emmet scooted across the bed so he was closer to me and took my hands into his grips pulling them towards my chest. I tried to wriggled free but his grip was too strong. I was nothing but a mouse against a giant cat.

“Get off!” I yelped pulling my wrist more. Emmet moved his body around to the back of me and put both his arms over my shoulders and held on tightly, Bracing my back against his rock hard chest. I was bound in unbreakable grasps. Not able to move, unable to fight and too terrified to scream. What were they going to do to me?

Ingrid’s tiny body then bust through the door accompanied by another woman I hadn’t been introduced to yet. My breaths came short and shallow now as the two woman advanced towards me. A predator towards it prey.