Chapter 249 : Thank you Miss Crumple-Bottom, because of you I can laugh.

I cried into Emmet’s chest for what felt like a very long time while he rocked me back and forth and rubbed his hand across my back in big soothing shapes. He only spoke occasionally to tell me that it was OK and he wouldn’t walk out on me but that was all that was needed. I wouldn’t have had the words in me to answer questions anyway. All I knew was at that moment no matter how much of a fight that I had put up, no matter if I had hurt him when I smacked at him without cause, I never wanted him to let me go. I was a lost little girl in the world and Emmet at long last had finally convinced me that there were some good people left and at the moment he was keeping me safe inside his arms, pressed against his chest. However all good things had to come to an end, even if it felt like it would physical brake me apart and far too soon I felt his grip slacken on me letting the cold air swoop in around my body. I groaned in my panic trying to nuzzle back into him like an overgrown cat.

“I have got therapy with AJ honey in about twenty minutes.” Emmet said gently speeding his fingers wide over the surface of my back so he could try and steady me again. “It will take me about an hour and a bit OK and then I’m going to come back and see you again. Esmee is going to stay here with you for a while longer and then someone else will come in and take over for a little bit. I want you to know that we are going to keep coming back though. You haven’t scared us away and we’re not angry and we’re not leaving permanently. We are not leaving you and we will always come back.”

I wanted to demand that he stayed with me. I wanted to black mail him or threaten him that I would do bad things if he left me alone in the room without them there. At the same time I also wanted to tell him that I didn’t care, that I hated them both anyway and I couldn’t give a damn weather they left me because I was better without them but that was only my desperation to keep them there. It was only the fear and confusion that made my whole body ach and burn that tried to make me blurt out anything that came into my head to try and ease it’s pain. There was no set way I had of coping, nothing I had ever learnt that didn’t involve blood and blisters. I had to try anything to survive agony.

“It’s OK, you should both go; I’m fine now. You shouldn’t care anyway.” My words sounded stiff and they were cold and sharp. They were also fat horrible lies that I hated but I knew taken the way they sounded the people that I was trying to keep by me would leave feeling better and resentful towards me. I wanted that somewhere inside of me. The bad and dead bits that clamed my body wanted the bitterness and rejection. It gave me a reason for the pain – another reason for me to hate myself.

"I am sure that you are perfectly fine… also Mi - as we are now obviously talking blatant bull poo - did I ever mention to you that on the weekends I like to steal Esmee’s bras snap on some lacy panties and dress up as a young lady and insist that everyone calls me Miss Crumple-bottom,” Emmet announced in a matter of fact tone as he pursed his lips into a flat line and batted hi eyelashes like a cartoon character.

No part of me, bad or good had an answer for that - though the mental images where interesting. Emmet in frilly Ann Summers lingerie and pointed high heels…

There was a double snort as both Esmee’s and my amusement burst out through the edges and rolled into hyper laughter. Apparently Emmet in a bra was enough to break even the strongest of pains. Because of Miss Crumple-bottom I had learnt how to laugh again.