Chapter 219: it is = it is OK

The yelp that that escaped mi’s lips was instantaneous with the snapping and Mi toppled to the floor holding on to her wrist and swearing under her breath.

 “All right, it’s all right,” I soothed bending down on my knees next to her shortly followed by Emmet as I rushed to her aid, “It’s all right honey, it’s all right, we are going to sort it out.” As gently as I could I wrapped my arm around her shoulders while trying to steal glances at her damaged wrist that she cradled in her other hand protecting it from further damage.

 “Can I have a look honey?” Emmet asked reaching out to take her hand into his but she shied away from him cuddling her injured hand in even closer to her chest and hiding it from view her eyes suspicious of his intensions. Of course this is what we had done by forcing her to have the nebulizer, she had forgiven us, but we had efficiently struck down some of the trust she had in us but what else could I have done. As it was she had a broken wrist and some lost trust, if I hadn’t done what I had, she would have been in a hospital bed in intensive care, or worse dead.

 “I’m fine,” Mi moaned, “It’s just a little bruising, it will go away soon.”  All her anger was gone now and her eyes fought back tears from the pain. She had won in some ways. She had taken revenge on the body that betrayed and hurt her but it was always going to be the body got its own back right away.

 "No it isn’t, that is causing you a lot of pain and I would like to see what you have done.” Emmet said gently leaning forward and smoothing her hair behind her ears staring into her eyes trying to reach her like he had done with me so many times before.

 “I don’t want to,” Mi said stiffly the pain even registering in her voice that she could not keep steady against the winning tears, “I don’t want to do this all over again. It’s OK; It has to be OK because I don’t want it to get better. I don’t want another cast and painkillers. It has to be Ok,” Mi moaned.” Because it’s just how it is like everything. It all has to be OK whatever happens.

 “Mi some things just aren’t Ok.” I said gently removing my arm from around her shoulders and shuffling my body around so I could see her face while I spoke, What she was saying had little to do with her arm injury in reality and more to  sedate her mind into bottling up the abuse again. “A lot of things that happen are not OK at all. I think you have broken your wrist and that isn’t OK and nothing you can do or day is going to make it become that way, just like the way he abused you in a vial and despicable way and that will never ever be OK.

 “I made my choice. I chose air at the price of forced oral sex and that has to be OK now because I can’t go back and change my choice, like I can’t stop my wrist from hurting or making that first cut or allowing Arabella to drive me somewhere that afternoon. It all has to be OK now,” Mi hissed barley containing her voice as it cracked with the tears.

 “None of those things are Ok Mi and they never will be. Just because you can’t change something doesn’t mean that that something has to automatically become acceptable. It just means we have to find ways to live with things that were really bad. As for you making the wrong choice between receiving medication and giving out oral sex against your will and you dying… you have to realise that it wasn’t your choice that was wrong, it was the situation. Either choice that you had made in response to that completely unacceptable proposition would have been a bad one. You had zero chance of making it out of that unharmed.” I said as softly as I could yet forcefully hoping that my sincerity could be forced through the whisper. “Mi, It’s not your fault.”

 ingerly Mi lent out her effected arm and allowed me to take it into mine so I could look for any obvious signs of a brake or deformity. There wasn’t anything that screamed at me but it looked painful and swelling had already begun to take over puffing up her hand and fingers.

 “Can you very gently move some of these fingers for me Mi or is the pain going to be too bad?

 Mi tried to mover her fingers for me staring intently at them with her now dark blue eyes that slowly filled up to the brim with tears and toppled down over her cheeks as she tried to make a fist with her hand.  I stopped her before she even halfway needed no more convincing of what her wrists fate had been. A knock like that on anybody’s wrist had the ability to break bones. Mi had osteoporosis that had been caused by severe malnutrition she would be lucky if she hadn’t smashed the bones into a million pieces.

 “Ok keep it still as you can and I will go and get my car keys and sign us out so we can go and get it fixed up.”

 “I don’t want to get it fixed up; I don’t want to go back to A&E again I have only just got out of that place. Can’t another nurse give me a second opinion or something? Mi asked desperately trying to mover her wrist while blocking the pain. I winced and grabbed hold of it again, gently supporting it in my arms to stop her from moving it. Even if she didn’t mind, the thought of her broken bones crunching together made me feel sick.

 “So can any nurse give you this second opinion?” Emmet asked the subtlest of smiles creeping across his jaw bone that only I could see.  I had been trained to look for and even feel his emotions for years.

 “Yes.”

 “And if they say you need an X-ray you will go without trouble?”

 “I suppose so,” Mi mumbled in annoyance.

 “Good. Here’s you second opinion. Registered nurse Emmet bear thinks you need an X-ray!” Emmet chuckled.

 

Mi rolled her eyes but admitted defeated and even gave us the gift of a very small smile as our reward.