Chapter 208 : Emmet's wish

 

“It feels like I have lost this fight

They think that I am staying down

But I'm not giving up tonight

Tonight the wall is coming down

I am stronger than my fears

This is the mountain that I climb

Got 100 steps to go

Tonight I'll make it 99”

One more

Superchick

 

 

“Mi you know I Have to report this. For a start I would be fired, lose my nursing license and quite possibly be arrested if I didn’t, but to be truthfully honest even if that wasn’t what would happen I would do the same thing anyway. He attacked you and raped you and that is not OK. He could get Eight years, longer even for this.”

 

He had no idea, I had read and reread the guidelines over and over again I had toyed with the pages in books and picked through the  internet reading over the things he could have been charged for, Child molestation, rape, selling me for sex, Physical abuse, Neglect . If I spoke up if I said all the right words and the jury believed me over him eight years wouldn’t scratch the surface. Jo would be an old man before he left the prison and that was if he got out of there alive. In prison most rules got blurred the difference between right from wrong constantly off kilter until it came to the molestation of a child. Apparently no one likes a “kiddy fiddler” not even a man who could kill his own mother.

 

“Or they might not believe me, I could tell them the whole truth I could do video links in a pretty little dress and I could tell them about how he held me down and raped me and even with the evidence they could say I was lying.”

 

“We would support you and do everything at the unit to try and make it bearable for you Mi.  Unfortunately the unit has had to deal with a lot of things that has had to go through the courts. Unfortunately you are right we have lost a few cases, there have been more wins and hefty sentences passed down on people, They are punished.”

 

“And I guessed it changed their lives right,” I snapped even though I tried not to, out of all the people to be angry with, out of all the people I shout have raised my voice at and been sarcastic with Emmet wasn’t one of them. He was trying to help me; he had believed me without question however the venom poured from my lips. “I suppose after the people who went to prison they got immediately discharged and all there problems were over. It doesn’t make a difference; it doesn’t change what happened or how it affects you. If you can promise me that I will feel clean if I tell the police, that I will instantly feel better when a key turns in the lock of the prison cells of every last person that ever hurt me I will make you a list of names and I will describe each and every one to the police and I will do as many video link as is needed.” I choked up the anger that had first poured lost somewhere as I realised just what I was saying. There was nothing that would make me feel better. He could rape my mind every day for the rest of my life and I would feel the punches of my skin no matter where he was. Everything would hurt, everything was hopeless.

 

Emmet sat down on the side of my bed as I dropped my head and pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes trying to push the tears back in were they had come from. I had almost preferred the anger even if it had been directed at the wrong person entirely. Emmet was a good person and would forgive me and when the anger was there things weren’t hopeless, now they were. I wanted to die again, wanted to cry until my cheeks were sore.   

 

“I can’t change what happened,” Emmet said softly brushing his fingers through my hair as he spoke. “I wish I could turn back the time and change my decision to let you roam alone. I wish I kept you safe and sound beside us and took you to the park. I wish I could have put you on the swing beside Mia and pushed you both as high as you wanted to go. I wish I could take away just a quarter of your pain but I have no genie in a lap or magic wand to make it all better. You are so brave Mi and you have been hurt far too often. Now I can’t make you feel better and the person who rapped you or the people who abused you as a child being under lock and key will not make the pain go away either, but maybe it will punish them for causing. It’s were they are meant to be. You know what to do and I will support you but it’s up to you now Mi. I won’t lie it will be bloody hard but you can make a step in the right direction. You may have a hundred more to do but today you could make it nighty nine.