Chapter 207 : No one wants to think about it

 

 

“Down On the ocean floor that s where I’m heading for,

Hold on to a sinking stone until the worse is known,

 Nobody wants to think about it

Nobody wants to talk about it

Nobody protects you.”

Nobody wants to

Crowded house

 

 I felt my whole body start to tremble as soon as the words had left my mouth. Even though they were the truth they still seemed so alien as they were spoken. I hadn’t told Emmet to get Joe into trouble; I didn’t want the police or to go to court or for him to rot the rest of his life in prison. I just wanted Emmet not to be disappointed in me; I wanted him to know that when he left me in that town Centre I had had no intention of taking an overdose or of cutting myself. I had been happy, I had been content and he had spoilt everything.

 Emmet’s face had become one of horror before twisting into shock and then into one of deep concern however disbelief never even registered, he knew I wasn’t lying even though he wished I was.

 “I’m sorry.” I whispered though my shuddering breath trying to break the silence that settled upon us but my apology seemed to attract Emmet’s attention.

 “Don’t you dare apologize Mi, this is not your fault, nothing about this is your fault. Now you have done the right thing telling me honey you’re really have and we will punish this man he will never hurt you or anyone else again.

 “No!” I shouted unable to stop my self “ It doesn’t’t matter Emmet, it really doesn’t I just didn’t want you to be disappointed in me anymore or to think it was your fault for leaving me or anything I just wanted you to know the reason why I did what I did, why I had enough. Surly you can see that now; you can see why I wanted it all to be over. I mean what else could I do?”

 “You could of called us Mi, we would of come and got you from wherever you were but that doesn’t matter now, I just want you to describe the person who has done this to you and tell me where you were at the time.”

 I could have done more than describe him, I could have given him a full name and date of birth. I could tell him what size in clothing he took and how he demanded his breakfast in the morning. I could tell him what beer he preferred but only if there wasn’t something stronger on the cards. I could tell him that he could throw me from exactly one end of the living room to the other and with a good solid kick he could propel me through the kitchen under the table and into the back door. That didn’t mean I would tell him any of the above however.

 “No, I’m not doing this Emmet, I am sorry and I know you will have to call the police and they will have to question me and the doctors will want to examine me but that is all ok. I will tell the police I lied to you and they won’t probe to hard because I have a nice new diagnosis of BPD (borderline personality disorder) under my belt where attention seeking happens to be one of the main symptoms. as for the internal I’m pretty sure at my age I can refuse but if I can’t it will come back saying I am no longer a virgin and I will just say I am per miscues and they will believe me. No one wants to believe in such horrors as rape Emmet; and with my excuses they won’t have to.