Chapter 272 : What she left behind.

The ambulance arrived in minutes but it felt like hours and with every second that passed one of the other nurse or myself worked over Mi’s body but she showed no signs of life not from the second I pulled her out of the bath to the moment she was delivered lifeless into the back of the ambulance and they speed away blue lights reflecting on the rain kissed pavements.

I had never felt so numb. So lost. So unable to get my head around something that could have been prevented. Had I missed something in her that I should have been able to see? Was there something I could have done to prevent such tragedy? Was I ever going to see her smile again? Feel her tears on my shoulder?

“Esmee… Esmee… That alarm. That alarm is bad alarm right. Doesn’t that mean someone has stopped breathing? Ae they Ok I saw the ambulance… Esmee, are you Ok?” 

“I’m Ok Bella,” I said forcing a smile onto my face. I had not thought how I was going to tell the rest of the clients that one of their own was seriously unwell or dead. Each and every one would have their questions about the Alarm. Though it was in code none of them where stupid they all knew what that alarm meant, but this was worse this was Bella. How could I tell Bella? In the unit she was Mi’s best friend she had took her under her wing and even though Mi still demanded a lot of nursing attention and intervention. An awful lot more then Bella Bella was always there for Mi they hung out they talked and played games when Mi showed some stability. Bella cared for her. She was going to be devastated. It would probably even knock her recovery. Apart from her precious twilight books that she gained her strength from Mi was next in her line she was one friend that truly understood her. Who know what it was like to not be able to eat.

“So who is poorly are they Ok?”

“Bella.., Mi isn’t very well… There paramedics have taken her to hospital and they are looking after her Ok. She is very poorly right now but they are trying to help her…”

“Mi…” Bella stammered looking at me. Her eyes big and filled with liquid. She didn’t really understand why would she. Neither did I. We should have spotted the signs had her on red so we could have been watching her. There were too many questions. I wanted to cry too.

“What? I mean how? I don’t understand. Wasn’t she in the ECA? How did it happen? Did she you know… do it too herself?”

“You know I can’t tell you what happened Bella, I’m sorry.” I moaned taking one of Bella hand into mine.

“She is Ok right though.” Bella smiled though her eyes already knew the answer. Tears started Spilling down over her face as she studied mine. What I would have given to have been able to give her good news to tell her that one again Mi needed “extra care” but would be back soon, but it would have been wrong to lie too. There was such a fine balance of what I could and couldn’t tell her, she was Mi’s beast friend yet I could not tell her the truth. It was sad but somewhere there was a written law that I could not brake if I wanted to remain a nurse. i wasn’t sure I even wanted that at that moment though. I couldn’t imagine not coming into work and seeing Mi in her room any more. Did I really want to?

“Bella… She is very, very ill.” With my words she crumbled her knees hitting the floor before I could reach out to catch her, and she sobbed long and hard and loud. The noise infiltrating the corridor almost much more loudly then any alarm could. This was Mi’s real alarm. The heart break, the pure devastation the she may not come back. It was cold and haunting.  Mi didn’t know it but this is what she was leaving behind. People who loved her, who cared and who could not physically stand up without her.