Chapter 271 : She had to be dead

Esmee

 “Mi, I’m doing checks.” I shouted into the bathroom door about quarter of an hour after Mi told me she was going to have a bath. It was nice to see her looking better after her hell of a time in the ECA and I was glad she was getting back into the swing of things, in short she seemed for the first time that she was doing ok. “Mi I have to come in and check if you are OK sweat pea. If you want to shove a towel over yourself or something that would be good,” I shouted back through the door before twisting my fingers in the release lock and opening the door a jar so I could see in around the corner.

“Mi honey, Mi… … Mia!” I yelled as I took in what was in front of me. Mi was laid under the now bright red bath water with her eyes closed. I recoiled at the sight as my eyes went fuzzy with tears and I almost vomited over myself. She had to be dead, there was no way she could survive this. I couldn’t get the facts to get right inside my head or work out what I should be doing. Mi was dead. Mi was dead. She had been smiling at me fifteen minutes ago and now she was under bright red water. It wasn’t fair we had all tried so hard for her and she had come so far. I had held her in my arms and told her that I was going to protect her and now she was dead.

As quick as they went away they came back again and my nursing instincts took over she had to be dead but I had to try there was still a chance if she had only stooped breathing. It was remote and unlikely but I had to try and bring her back. Scrambling to make my legs work I smashed the button on my RRA and then darted over the door and smashed the little blue alarm under the fire alarm. Every room and corridor in the unit automatically filled with sound and a posh woman announced the words “code blue.”

“Come on Mi fight this baby,” I moaned after going back to the bath and plunging my hands into the scolding hot water so I could get her out of the bath. I knew the image of her would be set there forever inside my head but I had to work through it I had to get her heart beating. Getting her out of the bath I laid her down on her back on the floor. She had to be dead… she looked barely human as I looked over her with blue lips and purple sunken eyelids. Her skin was pasty white with no hint of colour in her cheeks and she was bleeding arterially from both wrists and possibly from her legs… she had to be dead. It was impossible.

Clearing my head as best as I could I whipped off of Mi’s lips and tilted her head back pinched her nose and breathed twice into her lungs before I turned my attention to her chest. I hated giving CPR. It was brutal and it was violent and it often broke ribs but it was the only way it would work so without thinking I pressed my hands deep into her chest wincing as the rest of her body flopped about under the pressure. I felt like I was beaten up the broken but it had to be done if there was any chance, if there was any small hope that I could save her.

“What’s going on Esmee?” Jean shouted puffing and panting as she reached the bathroom door at a run talking to a person on the end of the phone.

“It’s Mi,” I moaned watching as water spilled out the edges of Mi’s lips at the same time as I pumped hard upon her chest “I found her underwater in the bath after she cut herself. She’s got an arterial bled from each wrist and there is a really nasty gash on her leg. She’s not breathing and she hasn’t got a pulse.”  I heard Jean rattle off the information to ambulance control on the phone but my head became distant. It wasn’t fair. She had tried so hard to fight.

“Come on baby, live, please just live, it gets better I promise, just breath for me,” but there was nothing she was fading and I couldn’t bring her back… she had to be dead.