Chapter 245 : my turn to fight for them

It took me a long time to loosen my grip on Esmee and to prise open my tightly closed eyes against the world but when I did I realised somehow they had managed to transfer me from the clinic room to the ECA. Somehow they had judged I was worse than usual, more of a threat, and I suppose in a way I was.  The very fact that I couldn’t remember the nauseating face down lift to the clinic room proved that. Had Sophie actually managed to take the last bit of me that was left now, Had I really now lost my mind? Sophie had never been so real, so alluring, so completely terrifying that I had lost my very presence as a person on planet earth. She had always been a part of me. I knew that she was in reality in more control over me than anyone else had but somehow – for some reason, until then I had always been the one controlling my body. Then Sophie had consumed me completely and I had gotten lost. It was no longer Mi playing host to Sophie. It was just Sophie trying to evict Mi. Esmee somehow had brought me back or at least made Sophie retreat back to her shadows, but still I was scared… what if she came back? What if she couldn’t save me twice?

About five minutes later Emmet Swiped his card key in the ECA door and slipped in carrying my pyjamas in one hand. I scooted a little bit further away from Esmee as he watched me with interest. He looked almost convinced as I was that I had become a different person - something unnatural and wrong, like a vampire escaped from the pages of old fashioned horror stories. It hurt to have him regard me with such cold eyes. They had always been gentile before but now they only softened as he looked over to his wife.

“How is she?” Emmet asked Esmee, setting my belongings down in the corner of the room. “Is she responsive yet? She looks a little better – more herself.” I could tell that he didn’t even believe his own words; he was just trying to comfort himself. I had always been responsive though – hadn’t I?

“She hasn’t spoken since the clinic room but she isn’t screaming anymore. She seemed a bit more aware of her surroundings maybe but that’s more hope than anything based on fact. I have been trying to get her to talk or at least react to me but there’s nothing. Have you managed to get hold of Doctor Jordan? I’m worried about her Emmet. She’s been like this coming up two hours. You know what I am thinking; it wouldn’t be unheard of in her case.

 Two hours? It felt like minutes not hours, and what wouldn’t be unheard of?

Emmet tried to ignore what Esmee was saying the best he could but I saw the distinctive signs of distress and pain on his jaw line as he crouched in front of me trying to put himself in my line of vision, I stared around the edges of him, not wanting to see what had been in his eyes before.

“Mi…Mi…Mi I need you to talk to me … Mia.” I couldn’t respond even I wanted to. It seemed that Sophie still possessed my vocal cords even if she had retreated from the bit of my brain that made me coherent.

Esmee sighed, the noise of her anguish plain to here in it and I wanted to comfort her but I had barely enough energy to keep myself sane and out of the abbess. I could feel oblivion was close to me still and if it wasn’t for Esmee’s pain and Emmet’s mock strength I might have tried to edge towards the black hole. I was still tempted even with them there, but it was cold and I had always hated the cold… Esmee was warm, comforting.”

“You think she will be diagnosed catatonic?” Esmee asked to no one. Emmet didn’t answer because of his love he felt for his wife. He couldn’t give her the truthful reassurance she was looking for and he refused to give her bad news. I heard Esmee whine like she was wounded and Emmet grimace at the sound. It always amazed me at how they seemed to feel each other’s pain more strongly then they felt it themselves.

“I actually thought we were getting somewhere,” Esmee moaned again wresting her head up against Emmet’s arm. “I thought we had some hope. I thought we were going to make a difference. She felt different. Like she just needed someone to help her get back to where she could be and then she would fight for this amazing life.”

“They can’t all be as amazing as you my darling, and she did fight which is credit to her. It might not have been enough but she went down swinging.”

It was Esmee’s face that made me stronger at that moment; it was her pain and her intense pain and sadness that pushed Sophie’s black mist further and further back inside my head and left me in control of my own body. It was no longer a case of I should comfort her, I simply had too no matter what I had to break through to do it - Their sadness and her tears where not something I could bare witness to without trying to offer some comfort. They had fort for me and kept me there and even if it was impossible I had to somehow fight Sophie enough to stop their pain, even if it was my last stand on earth.