Chapter 217: Whats a good nurse?

 

Esmee

 

“Tell me I just miss-heard what she just said. Emmet if there is anything good or right left in this bloody world tell me I heard her wrong,” I said stiffly to Emmet as I tried to get my legs to work again so I could run after Mi for whatever she had planned to do now could not be a good thing. Emmet had asked the question that I had hated my entire life and she had not answered. She had revealed horrific abuse from her past and left the room in tears. Not even the safest of people could have been considered anything other than unsafe right then. We did not need an answer to know she was facing trouble, yet I could not make my feet move right then as my mind was already shelf shocked in trying to understand what she had said.

There was one thing that I really wanted right then. I wanted what she said to be untrue, for the alternative was just too horrible to comprehend. How could anyone bargain medical care for sexual gratification and what monster would demand that of a child at all let alone a child that could have been dying? I had come to the conclusion that it must have been either a family member or someone close to the family that had hurt Mi over and over again and I had spent hours combing through all her files that I could get my hands on looking for a name of someone who might be the culprit, but though it said her mum went through sexual partners like toilet paper no name of her male friends where ever given so there was no culprit to report and even though I had wrote down every gory detail Mi had ever told Emmet or myself and told my higher ups over and over again no one seemed to care all that much about catching whoever had done it to her unless the name of the predator was told. I kept getting the same old stupid story that she was safe now and she would give names in her own time then the prosecution could begin. It wasn’t soon enough. He was out there still and his appetite for children would not have been gone.

 “Surly no one is that evil right?” Emmet stuttered back as gob-smacked as I was about what had just been said as he also tried to find the orientation to get to his feet and round up for the existent for the emergency that could have been unfolding. We were both aware that we were not meant to be personally involved but as humans every one of us would have needed to stop and take a breath at such revelations. We were not made of steel and were capable of great emotions too.

 “It’s too horrible to think of,” Emmet sighed putting his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes signaling to me that this had got to him more them most things did. We had all heard are fair share of confessions some of the young people on our books had been beaten, some neglected, some emotionally battered and others molested and raped but Mi’s story was haunting because even though she had revealed something that on its own was horrific behind her eyes you could see there was more that she still hid. That the story that made us real was actually not even a scratch on the surface.

 “She has never had anyone treat her how they should. How do we even start to turn around sixteen years of almost no parental guidance or protection and every kind of abuse that there is out there? I just want to protect her. I am coming up with nothing any more though but I am not sure I am prepared to just let her slip away completely either. There is something there in her, something about her that is hard not to notice. Like under all the mental issues and abuse she could change the world, or at least ours. I suppose that makes me too attached."

 “I sometimes feel I am a little bit too attached to her though Emmet. She makes me feel a bit different, like maybe I should back away move some care loads around and defiantly stand down as one of her key nursing team. If I was being a good “nurse” I would and by the sounds of it so would you.” The only problem was, was i knew i wouldn't voluntarily do what i thought i should. I couldn't

 “I think to be a good nurse though Esmee you have to know when to become a bad one and even when to risk certain things in order to give a patient what they need to survive. In cases like Mi’s and most others to be honest some of the rules would kill us. Maybe we have to just bend a few more when it comes to Mi. Maybe with her we need a certain amount of attachment to her as a person," Emmet ponded aloud trying to find a reasion to out not very logical ideas.

“I don’t have any answers but I believe that if I was going to switch off on her care I would have done it by now but to be honest all I really want to do is go and stop her from hurting herself too badly. If she has knocked us off of our feet she must have blown her world to pieces,” I moaned to myself and with one big bout of concentration I managed to get my brain to shift into gear again and I moved off of the bench holding out my hand to Emmet which he took and moved from the bench too planting a soft kiss on my lips before he extended to his full size and breathed out heavily in a sigh.

I felt his pain as well somewhere inside of me, our jobs could be cruel and times to the feelings of the nurses as well as the clients and even though we were trained to block it out so we wouldn’t burn out at the end of the day no amount of training could turn us into robots and the day to day workings of a high dependency unit could get to anyone.

 “What’s the betting that we ate going to need some gloves?” Emmet asked as he reached the door of the room and looked up at the display of medical gloves that were arranged by size.

 “You better give me a pair too,” I nodded as Emmet attached a pair of large ones to his hands then handed me over a small pair. It seemed inevitable that they were going to be needed even though she had only been left for a few minutes. Were there was the will to harm there was always a way.